


Ages

by kams_log



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Blind Character, Blind Dean, Car Accidents, College, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Growing Up, Growing Up Together, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Castiel, Kid Dean, Kid Fic, Kissing, M/M, Marriage, Minor Character Death, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2015-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-04 22:35:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4155549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kams_log/pseuds/kams_log
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Castiel were next door neighbors their entire lives. While they weren't friends right off the bat, they were united after a house fire claimed the life of Dean's mother. </p><p>Through their years together, they both suffer their own losses and challenges. But together, they always pull through, and eventually, they'll discover a profound bond that goes deeper than friendship.</p><p>This is the story of Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak through the ages.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this was brewing in my head for a while. it was only going to be a one shot, but it started getting too long, so i'm splitting it up into two or three chapters. i hope you guys like it!
> 
> the summary might change later, fyi. but this is what i have so far ;) enjoy!

Dean and Castiel first met when they were five. Technically, they’d known each other since birth. Their families were friends, and Castiel often saw Dean playing with the other children around the neighborhood. But they’d never personally spoken or played together--preferring more familiar comforts than dealing with the ‘odd boy’ across the street.

Castiel thought Dean was too bubbly and excitable. Dean thought Castiel was too blunt and too serious.

It was only natural they continued to avoid each other, despite their joined family barbeques and picnics.

But it was when they both turned four that everything changed for them.

It was November, and Dean’s mother died in a fire accident. Castiel could remember seeing the flames across the street from his bedroom window. He’d looked down and saw Dean standing alone in the front yard, holding his baby brother, still as a statue.

The remaining Winchester family was welcomed in the Novak house that night. Castiel had watched Dean from behind his mother’s legs, thinking how odd Dean’s face looked when he wasn’t smiling. But what confused him most was that Dean never cried.

In all his five years of Castiel’s life, he’d never seen Dean Winchester cry. He was always smiling, always laughing. Now his face was cold and vacant, and still, there were no tears.

Castiel looked up at his mother. He couldn’t imagine ever losing her. He was certain he would’ve cried if he lost her.

He decided something must be wrong with Dean.

That night he helped his mother make the guest beds. They even uncovered one of their old cribs in the attic. It was dusty, but baby Sammy slept peacefully in it all night.

The next morning, however, the Winchesters left to find their own apartment. Castiel listened to his parents plead with Dean’s father to stay longer, at least until they could move into a permanent place. But it didn’t change anything, and the Winchesters were gone by evening.

Castiel didn’t see Dean again until school started the following autumn. It was an open house event, where all the students, teachers, and parents could meet before the big first day.

Dean and his father stood near the back of the room, both looking for all the world like they’d rather be anywhere else. But Castiel locked eyes with them and waved politely, as his mother told him to if he made eye contact, and watched in confusion as Dean’s father leaned down to say something to his son. Dean looked like he wanted to argue with whatever was said, but his father shoved his arm, and Dean stumbled across the room towards Castiel.

Like a year ago, Dean’s usual smiles and laughter were gone. His face and lips were set in a grim line that was hard to ignore. He looked far too old to be only five.

“C-Cas, right?” Dean asked quietly, blushing fiercely at his stutter.

Castiel remembered the nickname. He’d hated it, at first. But now, with the boy standing in front of him, face painted in misery and loneliness, Castiel decided he didn’t mind so much.

He nodded, then felt something brighten in his chest when Dean abruptly smiled, eyes shining like crystal green jewels.

“Can we… uh, can we hang out?” He asked anxiously, glancing back at his father who was watching them with solid attention.

Castiel looked back and noticed as well. He had a strange feeling about it, but he didn’t feel any reservations when he nodded his head.

Dean sighed in relief and beamed.

“Thanks Cas.”

It was the first time Castiel had seen Dean smile since the accident. And from the look of it, it seemed Dean hadn’t smiled much since then either. It was the moment Castiel decided he wanted to make sure Dean was always smiling.

He grabbed Dean’s hand and tugged him away from his father’s pinning gaze, not failing to notice the way Dean continued to relax the further they walked.

“Let’s see the artwork Dean,” Castiel said.

“Okay,” Dean smiled.

…

It was a little over five years later. Dean and Castiel were nearly ten years old, Sammy was about to turn five.

Castiel was happy to say that things had gotten better. The first year was the hardest, getting Dean to open up again. But there was the stutter that seemed permanently etched in Dean’s psyche, always tripping him and scaring him back into silence for days or weeks at a time. But Castiel knew Dean could talk. When they were alone, he would listen to Dean rant and rave excitedly about his comic book heroes or his favorite stories. He’d seen Dean jump up onto Castiel’s bed and recite an epic speech by Batman without a single fault.

Yet the moment they were in class, or sitting at lunch with all their friends, Dean would be quiet and stutter over every sentence until he either blushed and kept trying, or paled and fell into silence.

But Castiel knew it was only his fears, his anxiety. Castiel was patient too. He never accused Dean of being too scared to talk, and he never pushed Dean during his bad days. He may have been a child, but he knew better than to make Dean sad.

Dean always seemed to stutter the worst at home. Castiel had come with him to his apartment, said hello to John and Sammy who was just learning to crawl, and Dean barely spoke until they were locked safely in Dean’s room. And then, Dean would only speak softly.

“I don’t know why,” Dean answered one day when Castiel was brave enough to ask. “I just don’t want to say anything wrong. I can’t let him down or mess anything up.”

“You’re not supposed to get everything right Dean,” Cas replied, just as quiet. “That’s what mom says.”

Dean smiled, eyes sad.

“Mom’s are usually right, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

But that was the first year. The second year was easier, and Castiel smiled so much it hurt his face when Dean was able to hold a full conversation with all of their friends, smiling just as brightly as he did before the fire.

He even started to show the sarcasm and mind blowing humour that only Castiel had gotten to see over the years. Everyone was blown away. Dean Winchester, the quiet, brooding boy everyone thought just didn’t like people, was suddenly just as extroverted as everyone said he used to be. He ran through the halls, Castiel always quick on his heels, and was one of the biggest pranksters in elementary school.

Castiel warned him to pull in his impulses for when they entered junior high in just a few short years. Dean only rolled his eyes and promptly dragged him along for their next shenanigan.

“Live a little, Cas!” Dean always said, sporting the same smirk and wink whenever Castiel was even the slightest bit hesitant to join.

Castiel would always sigh and do whatever needed to be done. Either way, in the end he would hide with Dean in the closet until the storm blew over and it was safe to come out again without being sent to detention.

Castiel always figured there was a certain element of danger to Dean. He was a little too reckless, a little too ready to jump into whatever adventure came next. If anything, Castiel always expected something to go wrong from one of Dean’s brilliantly dangerous ideas.

Like the time they managed to get a hold of a fire extinguisher and painted the bathroom in foam, or the time they got the fire sprinklers to go off in the teacher’s office.

Castiel felt like he was always waiting for Dean to hurt himself through some crazy experiment. He always figured it was a matter of time before Dean learned his lesson the hard way.

What he didn’t expect, was for it to happen in a car accident.

It wasn’t even Dean’s fault. They were crossing the road after school, both their homes within walking distance of the school. Sammy trotted along behind them, his first year of school glowing on his face and his mouth spouting praises that he got to go to school just like his big brother Dean.

They were laughing about something. Castiel couldn’t remember. It was either about the tack Dean put under Mr. Winkler’s seat or how Sam’s crayons melted on accident by the heater.

But one second, they were all smiling and laughing, Dean ruffling Sam’s hair, and the next all Castiel saw were wide green eyes, hands shoving him hard onto the sidewalk, and screeching tires.

Castiel was slow to get up, pain sparking in his palms and shoulders from the hard hit to the cement. Sam was in shock, staring at the car that nearly hit them, eyes wide and horrified. Castiel looked in the same direction as the younger Winchester, and then he too, was struck with horror.

Dean lay in the middle of the road, blood seeping out of his head and coloring his dirty blond hair red. His eyes were closed, and his limbs were splayed out across the pavement like a thrown away doll.

A teacher had rushed out into the road, and the driver had thrown their car in reverse and sped away from the crime.

Castiel couldn’t bring it in himself to care. His gut was twisted in knots, and he could barely feel it when five more adults ran out to pick Castiel and Sam up from the ground.

They wouldn’t let him go near Dean. Sam wasn’t allowed either, and Castiel found himself in charge of the younger, now crying, Winchester boy. They huddled on the school bench outside the doors, watching as Mr. Winchester’s black Impala sped up along the road where an ambulance and men in uniforms were hoisting Dean up into the back of the vehicle.

Mr. Winchester was screaming, face bright red and angry, and many of the adults were pointing at Castiel and Sam. He finally stormed up to them, grabbed Sam by his shoulders and said, “Son, we need to go to the hospital.”

“D-Dean?” Sam was choking on his tears. Mr. Winchester shook his head gently and pulled him up to his feet.

“We’re gonna see him at the hospital. Come on, Sammy.”

“Can I come?” Castiel asked, fear leaking into his voice.

Mr. Winchester glanced down at him, sadness and regret pulling at all the lines in his face.

“I’ll call your parents,” he promised. “Let them know what happened. We’ll be in touch, I promise.”

Castiel could only nod, unable to argue.

It was hours and tears from both his parents later, but that evening they were driving to the hospital.

His mother had made a casserole for the Winchesters. It was the least they could do, but Castiel couldn’t help but feel they should have done more anyway.

When his mother showed up at the school, she’d hugged Castiel and wept. He didn’t know if it was because of what nearly happened to him, or for what he’d seen happen to his best friend.

He wasn’t sure. But all he could think about was that it could have been him. But Dean saved him.

They walked through the white halls of the hospital, the dinner hidden expertly in his mother’s heated bag under her arm. She mentioned something about hospitals not liking food brought in, but it wasn’t for Dean. It was for Mr. Winchester and Sammy, so they’d have something to eat when they went home. So they wouldn’t have to spend any more money.

Castiel saw Mr. Winchester before he saw Dean. He was sitting in a plastic chair in front of the bed, eyes tired and face worn with worry. Next to him was Sammy, face blotchy from non-stop tears and a runny nose. He was sleeping against his father, who had finally noticed their presence.

The parents exchanged a few words, and Castiel’s mother handed over the bag and casserole inside. But Castiel wasn’t paying attention. His eyes were firmly fixed on Dean, who was lying in white sheets with bandages wrapped all around his head and arms.

He heard just enough of Mr. Winchester’s words that he felt his eyes begin to burn.

“They couldn’t believe he survived the impact,” he was saying, voice hushed so Sammy wouldn’t wake up and hear. “But the damage is... He… he might not see again.”

Castiel swallowed hard and walked over to the bed, reaching over the railing so he could wrap his hand around Dean’s, much like they would do whenever they were about to go off on their next adventure. Castiel wondered if they’d get any more of those now, or if Dean would lose that too.

Castiel hoped it wouldn’t matter. When Dean woke up, seeing or not, he just wanted to still be Dean’s best friend. It hurt, just thinking about how Dean might never see his face again, or if he forgot what he looked like.

All that mattered was Dean’s friendship, and making sure Dean still knew he was loved and wanted.

“I’ll still love you,” Castiel whispered fiercely, oblivious to the three pairs of eyes watching his movements. “Even if you never get to see my face again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: lovefromdean.tumblr.com
> 
> i'll post the next chapter tomorrow :) please let me know what you think of it so far!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, here's chapter two like i promised! with the way things are spreading out, it might be a little more than four chapters. but i don't expect this to be too long of a story, still, and i hope you continue to like it! 
> 
> (honestly, i didn't expect very many people to get into it. it's been SO awesome to hear from you guys and see that you've been enjoying it. i hope i can continue to make it good for you!)
> 
> enjoy!

It was another two days before Castiel got to see Dean awake for the first time. He came with his mother on a Saturday. In his hand he held three balloons, and under his arm he tucked a large, fluffy, german shepherd plush toy. His first thought was to write and draw Dean a card. But when his mother hung up the phone the day before, she turned to him and had him set his colored pencils down.

“Sweetie,” she’d started gently, but Castiel already knew. “He’s not going to be able to see it.”

He wanted to tear up the card right then and there. But he held onto it and stuffed it in a shoe box, hid it under his bed and refused to look at it again. It was too painful.

Knowing he was upset, Castiel’s mother took him to the toy store. It was tricky, finding a toy he knew Dean would like. But with his mother’s help, he was able to settle on a toy dog with a collar that read ‘Chief.’ Dean wouldn’t see the tag, but Castiel could tell him.

He entered Dean’s hospital room to find Sam sitting on the edge of Dean’s bed, squinting at a large book that read, “Learning Braille.” Every few seconds he would suddenly exclaim a letter, then drag Dean’s hand over to the book to feel it.

Dean’s face was impassive and blank. It made Castiel’s stomach twist in knots.

“I’ll get some snacks from the vending machine,” his mother said softly. Castiel nodded and watched her go.

“Cas!” Sam suddenly exclaimed, and Castiel watched as Dean jumped in surprise, fisting his blankets and glancing around the room sharply.

Castiel felt his eyes begin to burn, water rushing toward the corners of his eyes. Dean had no idea what the room looked like, or where the door was.

“Hello Dean,” Castiel said gently, loud enough for Dean to hear him. Dean’s head snapped in the direction of Cas’s voice, and Castiel felt a surge of relief when Dean smiled softly.

“Hello Sam,” Castiel added after a moment. Sam grinned at him tiredly and waved him over.

“We’re learning braille,” Sam explained, young voice high and bubbly as he patted a spot next to him, leaving enough room for Cas to sit closest to Dean.

It was an honor, Castiel realized as he sat. Sam didn’t let just anyone get the closest seat to his oldest brother.

Castiel extended a hand and curled his fingers around Dean’s palm. Dean smiled and squeezed back.

“I’m glad you’re here Cas,” Dean said quietly.

Castiel smiled and nodded, even though Dean couldn’t see it. He pulled the helium balloons down so they were set firmly in his hands and pressed them into Dean’s arms.

“We got you balloons,” Castiel explained, watching as Dean’s fingers roamed over the plastic and strings. “They’re purple. They say get well soon.”

“Right,” Dean frowned. It fell unspoken between them that Dean wasn’t going to get better. But he smiled again a moment later when his fingers reached the top of the balloon, and he said, “Purple, huh?”

“Yeah,” Castiel replied with a smile. “I talked my mom out of getting the heart-shaped ones.”

“Thank God,” Dean chuckled, but the sound was low and painful. Cas couldn’t be sure, but he could’ve sworn he saw Dean’s green eyes glisten. They didn’t look the same. Before they were sharp and crystal. Now they seemed a little bit darker, a little more shadowed around the edges.

It was obvious his sight was gone. Castiel felt his own eyes burn with unshed tears as he pulled the large plush puppy from under his arm.

“We also got you this,” Castiel said. Dean released the balloons, touching the strings as they slithered through his fingers toward the ceiling. He extended his palms, and Castiel placed the large dog in his hands.

Dean pet it for a moment, eyes narrowed in concentration, before his lips split in a wide grin and he hugged it to his chest.

“It’s… a dog, right?” He sounded hesitant, uncertain. His eyes flicked towards Castiel, and he smiled with the knowledge that Dean was still tracking him somewhat.

“Yes,” Castiel grinned. “A german shepherd. His name is Chief.”

“Chief,” Dean repeated, then squeezed the dog tighter. He pressed his face against the dog’s head and took a deep breath.

Castiel glanced back at Sammy and watched him read the braille book.

“Where did you get that book Sam?” Castiel asked curiously. Sam thumbed through the pages and frowned.

“There aren’t any, uh, blind schools nearby,” Sam explained, forehead scrunched up in thought. “Daddy went and bought some books from a clinic, though. For Dean.”

Castiel frowned and looked back at Dean. His face was still buried in the dog’s fluffy head, and he hadn’t shown any sign that he was listening. Castiel looked back at Sam, who was squirming uncomfortably in his seat.

“Do you need to use the restroom, Sam?” Castiel asked.

Sam bit his lip and nodded.

“You should go,” he said, taking the book from Sam’s hands as he hopped off. “My mom’s out there. She can help you find it.”

“Can… can you help Dean with the letters?” Sam asked quietly.

Castiel glanced back at Dean, who still wasn’t moving, and then nodded silently. Sam smiled brightly then dashed out of the room. Really, he was more waddling than running. But he was gone a few moments later, leaving Dean and Castiel alone in the room.

He heard a stifled sob come from beside him, and Castiel felt his blood run cold.

“Dean?” Castiel asked softly, reaching out his hand to touch Dean’s arm.

Dean flinched at the contact, then shivered and leaned into it.

“S-Sam…” he spoke softly, sniffling twice before continuing, “Sammy was so mad. H-He said we were l-lying, that I could still see him.” He looked up, and Castiel’s heart thudded when he saw tear tracks on his best friend’s face.

It was the first time he’d ever seen Dean cry. He hated it more than anything he’d ever hated, even more than Naomi Banks from Room 2 at school.

“I-I can’t see ‘im Cas,” Dean sobbed, clutching at the dog even tighter. “I-I can’t see you either. God, I should be d-dead--”

“Don’t you ever say that!” Cas snapped, shocked by how loud he’d shouted. Dean flinched and shut his eyes, burying his face in the dog’s fur to hide. Cas watched as his shoulders shook, and he sighed.

“I’m glad you’re alive, Dean,” Cas said quietly. “I don’t think I could bear not having you around every day.”

Dean sniffled and looked up, tucked his chin over the dog’s head and shivered.

“D-Dad talked about moving away s-so I could go to a school. F-For the blind. I said no.”

“Why?” Cas asked, brows furrowing in confusion.

A small smile pulled at Dean’s lips. The first one since he started crying.

“I-I couldn’t bear n-not having you around every day.” Dean sniffed again, and then he chuckled, low and humorless. “G-Go figure.”

Cas couldn’t take it anymore. He reached out and wrapped his arms around Dean’s shoulders. He pulled him in tight against his body, Chief snuggled tightly in between them, and pressed his face into his friend’s shoulder.

“I hope you stay forever, Dean,” Cas said softly.

Dean nodded against his shoulder.

“Me too.”

…

It was the hardest year of their lives. Castiel made it his personal mission to visit Dean every single day, especially on weekends so he could stay overnight.

Dean managed to convince his father to let them stay in town, promising to learn how to read in braille and work extra hard to get braille textbooks and keep going to school. They invested in a white cane for him so he could learn how to get around by himself, and even hired someone to come in and teach him tricks to get from room to room, counting his steps and measuring distances in his head.

Dean said that was the easy part. The hardest part was relearning how to read.

John, as Castiel was starting to call Dean’s father now that they saw each other almost daily, had been busy for weeks doing research and contacting the school district about how Dean might be able to continue studying in public school. Fortunately, there were ways to do it so the family wouldn’t have to move to a school for the blind, and soon enough, Dean had new piles of textbooks specifically in braille.

Dean suffered. He didn’t say it, but Castiel could tell. It was hard, watching him relearn everything that had been second nature to him for years. Suddenly, he couldn’t just look at a book and get an idea of what it was about. He couldn’t as easily skim through pages until he found what he was looking for.

Everything was a slow, careful process of elimination. Dean would take at least a minute figuring out the title of a book, then would spend nearly an eternity working his way down through a table of contents (that’s what Dean said it was) before finally counting the pages and touching it to see if he got it right the first time. He was only right half the time.

It was during one particularly bad day when Dean threw his book at the wall, accidentally crashing it through the window, that Castiel decided if Dean had to relearn everything, then he would too.

He picked up Dean’s first book on learning braille, and sat down with Dean and went it over with him in gory, painstaking detail.

But Dean laughed that day. He laughed at Castiel’s blunders and mistakes, righted his hands the way his tutor had taught him.

Castiel was awful, at first. Dean had been a quick learner, and Castiel was envious of his abilities. Dean didn’t think he was good. He constantly berated himself and beat himself down for taking so long to get through the words and the paragraphs, but Castiel could barely get one word at all.

Dean had no idea how brilliant he was, and it almost made Castiel angry. But he kept his emotions to himself. It wasn’t about how slow Castiel was or how fast Dean was. It was about making sure Dean continued to keep trying, and that Castiel continued to support him and learn right along with him.

Dean stayed out of school till after halloween. It was over a month since the accident, and Dean was anxious and jittery for the entire week leading up to his return.

Every time Dean started to loose it, wringing his hands and biting his lip, Castiel would simply extend his hand and lace it through Dean’s.

“I’ll be right next to you the entire time,” he promised.

Dean only nodded. It may not have been much to Castiel, but to Dean, it was everything.

The first day back was rocky at best. Dean wore sunglasses to protect his eyes from the sunlight during recess, and Castiel loyally stayed by his side. Whenever Dean got scared or anxious, surrounded constantly by the loud noises of children running around them at high speeds, completely oblivious to the huge white cane in Dean’s hands, he’d quickly reach out his hand, and Castiel would take it.

One boy, Alastair Baits, had pointed and jeered at them.

“Look! The cripple’s got a boyfriend!”

Dean face went slack next to him, and Castiel growled quietly, “How strong is your stick?”

Castiel wasn’t being funny. He was being dead serious, but for some reason, Dean’s tension immediately died away and he burst into laughter.

He tugged Castiel’s hand and marched away, cane firmly placed in his hand, and continued to laugh, “Get your own stick, Cas.”

The first day was rocky. The first month was tricky. But by month two, they were starting to get into the swing of things.

Dean was getting better with his textbooks, but he’d started getting into other means of learning. John got him a recorder so he could keep track of assignment rules, and Castiel would sometimes read to Dean from his own textbooks when Dean got too frustrated with his own.

Dean could nearly confidently walk through the halls of the school by himself now. Cas still continued to stand close by at all times, but he no longer worried about leading his friend around or worry about Dean going to the restroom by himself.

Sam was ecstatic for Dean’s progress. He often sat with Castiel and Dean while they studied together, both with their homework and their shared braille books. Sam was still young, but he was quick to jump on board and learn braille too. Soon, he was excelling faster than Dean and Castiel combined.

But Dean didn’t seem to mind. He’d just reach over with surprising ease and ruffle Sam’s hair, like he always did. This never failed to make Sam and Castiel smile, whether Dean realized it or not.

The first few months were tricky. The first year was the biggest learning curve of all of their lives.

But several years down the road, when Castiel looked back, he would think of the time fondly, because back then he had no idea just how much was still ahead of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: lovefromdean.tumblr.com
> 
> i'll post the next chapter tomorrow :) please let me know what you think of it so far!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! here's the next chapter. i think this or the next one will be the last one, and then i'll write an epilogue after.
> 
> also, SUPER BIG THANKS to those of you who helped me with some of the editing mistakes i missed in my first run through. i've gone back and fixed them (as with the ages and such.) also, there was a question about who castiel's parents were... i've left a strong hint in this chapter, but you can all come up with your own conclusions as you like ;)
> 
> i hope you enjoy the chapter!

“Children are strange,” Castiel grumbled as he sipped at his milkshake.

Dean chuckled and played with his bendystraw, eyebrows raised in amusement. “You do realize we used to be children? Adults still think we are.”

“We’re fifteen, Dean,” Cas rolled his eyes. “Grandparents see us as children. Adults see us and panic that we’re going to get drunk and have sex on drugs.”

“I thought those were sixteen year olds?”

“It’s hardly a difference.”

Dean laughed again and blew hard into his straw, smiling when bubbles popped up in the strawberry shake.

“Okay, now you really are being a child,” Castiel grumbled. Dean only laughed and took off his sunglasses, dropping them on the kitchen table so he could wink.

“So what’s brought on the kid bashing today, Cas?” Dean asked in amusement.

“Claire,” Castiel grumbled, and Dean nodded in sympathy.

Claire was Castiel’s little sister. She was born a year and a half after Dean’s accident that blinded him, and she was about four now, and the little girl could be a devil when she wanted. She was beautiful, even Castiel had to admit that. But she had her terrifying moments.

“What’d she do today?” Dean asked, finally growing up enough to sip his drink like a big kid.

Castiel groaned and ran his fingers through his hair.

“She thought it would be perfectly fine to go through all of my room and throw things around.”

“God, why?”

“She ‘claimed’ she was looking for her journal, which just ‘happened’ to be on her desk in her room,” Castiel grumbled.

“You’re doing air quotations, aren’t you,” Dean grinned. Castiel rolled his eyes and groaned again, hitting his head on the kitchen table.

“Don’t dent the wood,” Dean said, unsympathetic as he sipped at his milkshake again. “I’m not looking forward to your mom skinning us both if you do.”

Castiel only moaned pitifully.

Dean was silent for a few minutes, eyebrows narrowed in concentration. Finally, he set his glass down and leaned forward.

“Jeez Cas, it was just some tiny terror, right? Why all the drama?”

Castiel stiffened, glanced up at Dean curiously. His friend’s gaze was leveled directly at him, and his lips were set in that worrying line that only showed up when Dean was genuinely concerned about something.

“Did she break anything?” Dean continued, eyebrows raised curiously.

Castiel sighed and shook his head.

“No. But she almost tore up a bunch of stuff.”

“What stuff?”

Castiel flinched again, selfishly grateful that Dean couldn’t see it. His thoughts immediately went to the box under his bed. The box that Claire had pulled out from underneath and took off the lid. He’d found her with her hands around the different letters he’d stored in the box.

He shivered, grateful that she was still learning to read and couldn’t identify what they were for.

“S-School stuff,” Castiel said, hoping Dean wouldn’t think twice about it. But instead, Dean’s eyes only narrowed and he reached out, touching Castiel’s elbow.

“Dude, you suck at lying. What’d she get her hands on?”

“U-Um,” Castiel stammered, eyes roaming the kitchen for any possible excuses he could give. “They were, uh, nothing--”

“Show me,” Dean said. Castiel’s eyes widened, and he stared at his friend.

“What?” Castiel asked, incredulous.

Dean shrugged and stood, grabbing his glasses and walking stick, even though he knew Castiel’s house better than his own at this point.

“Show me. Is your room still a mess?”

“Uh, yeah, but you don’t need--”

“Look, you can just show me what she got her hands on, and then we can clean up your room together. It’s no big deal, Cas.”

Except that it was a big deal, thank you very much. Castiel felt sweat bead on his temple as he stood and followed Dean to the stairs leading up to his room.

The walk was short, but soon enough the two stood in the doorway to Castiel’s room.

“Damage report?” Dean said, a goofy grin plastered across his face. Castiel was trying not to sweat through his shirt.

“U-Um,” his eyes flickered around the room quickly, “lots of clothes on the floor, um… a few books on the floor in front of the case… Um, the door to the closet is wide open and there are a couple of boxes and garbage around the bed.”

“Damn. How much of it did Claire do?”

Castiel stared at the boxes and envelopes around the bed.

“Sixty percent, maybe.”

“And I thought you were the neat freak in this relationship,” Dean rolled his eyes. “Okay then. Where’s the stuff you freaked out over?”

“It’s really nothing Dean,” Castiel exclaimed, quickly rushing to the bed to scoop up the letters and shove them back in the shoe boxes he’d collected over the years.

“If it was nothing you’d just tell me what it was,” Dean argued. He dropped his cane to the floor and wandered toward the bed where Castiel was still hurriedly pushing his things away.

“Cas?”

Something in Dean’s tone struck Castiel off guard. He stopped what he was doing and looked up, surprised to see Dean’s eyes sad and worried.

Damnit, Castiel thought tiredly. Of course Dean would blame himself, think he’d done something that would make Castiel want to hide from him. But it wasn’t like that. It was the opposite of the truth, in fact. Dean hadn’t done anything wrong. He was just too good. That was the problem. He couldn’t know about all the letters Castiel had saved over the past five years, all the little notes and stories that he always wanted to tell Dean but never had the courage too.

He couldn’t let Dean know about the letters because then he’d know how Castiel felt about him.

His fingers tightened around the two envelopes in his hands and he swallowed hard.

“It’s nothing, Dean,” Castiel repeated. His heart tightened when Dean’s face fell, but he nodded solemnly and turned his head to face the rest of the room.

“Well then,” Dean said, going for forced cheeriness, “Let’s clean this room up!”

“Dean…”

“Wanna’ go for clothes first?” Dean carried on, ignoring him. “Or garbage?”

“Dean!” Castiel exclaimed, climbing to his feet and grabbing Dean’s arm. Dean pulled away sharply and frowned. Castiel swore his heart thundered against his ribcage at the look on Dean’s face.

“Look, I get it Cas,” Dean said calmly. “I don’t need to know everything. You’re entitled to your privacy. Seriously, it’s okay.”

Castiel watched in regret as Dean nodded, as if affirming himself, before turning and ducking to grab some of the clothes off the floor. But, he wasn’t near the clothing. Castiel stared in horror as his fingers wrapped around the last envelope, lifting it up and staring down at in in confusion.

“Cas…?” Dean asked quietly. “What… is this?”

Castiel snatched it out of his friend’s hands and blushed furiously, cradling it to his chest and taking a step back.

“A-A letter,” Castiel mumbled. Dean’s eyebrows knit together and he lowered his arms.

“Oh,” Dean said, and suddenly his eyes widened and he blushed. Castiel stared as Dean shuffled awkwardly and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“So, uh, is it like… for somebody you like?” He tried to smile, but it looked forced. Castiel’s heart beat double time. “Cause you know I don’t care who you like, right? Just as long as they’re awesome. You only deserve awesome, you know.”

“Yes,” Castiel said softly, hating the way Dean’s shoulders drooped. “I… I like someone. But I haven’t told them because they only see me as… their friend.”

“Well that’s stupid,” Dean growled, catching Castiel by surprise. “Who wouldn’t like you? Like, really like you? They’d have to be stupid not to see how cool you are.”

Castiel blushed fiercely and looked at the letter in his hands. It was one he wrote a month ago. He could remember sitting at his desk, having just walked home with Dean by his side. That day Castiel almost felt brave enough to tell Dean how he felt.

He could still remember the way the sun made his freckles stand out against his skin, making his smile look that much brighter in the afternoon light.

Castiel had wanted to lean forward and kiss him. Hold his hand, maybe. He just wanted to tell Dean everything, about the letters he wrote but never sent, about all the things he wished he could do with Dean.

Like go to the prom together next year. That was something Castiel wanted more than anything.

But he couldn’t let Dean know any of that. He couldn’t know how much Castiel wanted to be with him, hug him whenever he wanted and kiss his cheek whenever he felt like it.

But he couldn’t. It was Dean. And even though they’d never discussed their orientations or who they liked, Dean had always seemed to have a thing for girls.

By Castiel’s count, he’d kissed at least three girls from their school already. Castiel was still at a firm zero. He could only ever imagine kissing one person. And that person was standing in front of him with the saddest look he’d seen since Dean had been lying in a hospital bed with Chief in his arms.

That same plush toy rested in Dean’s bed to this day. It always gave Castiel a warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest whenever he saw it.

“D-Do you think I should tell them?” Castiel asked softly. Dean bit his lip, and Castiel had a fleeting hope that maybe he should tell him. Dean deserved to know if his friend was harboring the biggest crush on him in history. Shouldn’t he know? Castiel couldn’t help but feel it was wrong to lie, to hide. Dean deserved the truth.

But Castiel couldn’t lose his friendship either.

Dean chewed on his lip for a moment, then nodded slowly.

“Uh… yeah. I think you should tell them. Him, her, whatever floats your boat.” Dean chuckled and shrugged, eyes still strained and guarded. His glasses started to slip from his forehead to his face, and he quickly pushed them back up again and sniffed.

“You should tell them,” Dean said again, this time more confidently. He smiled then, seeming to come to terms with whatever he was thinking. He lifted his cane and smacked Castiel on his hip before winking and turning again.

“So, the room, right?”

Castiel could only stare at him, heart hammering away in his chest. _He couldn’t believe he was about to do this._

“Dean.”

“Yeah, Cas?” Dean glanced back in Castiel’s direction, expression still carefully guarded and cautious.

“Come here for a second.”

Dean’s eyes narrowed for a second, but he nodded and took a step towards Castiel. Soon, they were only a few inches apart, and Dean’s gaze was drifting to the side, anxiety clearly clinging to him like a second skin.

“Got something on your mind?”

“Y-Yeah,” Castiel mumbled, heart racing even faster. He took a shuddering breath and tightened his grip on the letter in his hands. He looked up at Dean’s face, curious and searching, before he finally gave up and sighed. “You, actually.”

“Me?” Dean asked, eyes narrowing in confusion. Then suddenly, his eyes widened, and his lips parted in shock. “Wait, Cas?”

“You’re on my mind, Dean,” Castiel said softly. “When I was writing these letters, I was thinking about you.”

“Cas, I don’t understand--”

“You asked me to show you, remember?” Castiel asked quietly. He watched as Dean’s eyes widened, and a blush steadily grew on his best friend’s face. “Let me show you. Please.”

Dean took a measured breath, then nodded slowly.

Castiel smiled nervously, then leaned forward, heart racing, and pressed a gentle, lingering kiss on Dean’s lips. Dean’s breath hitched, and Castiel felt his body go still against him. But he waited, letting the moment linger for another moment longer, just so he could treasure it. Then, with regret, he leaned back and stared at Dean anxiously.

Dean’s eyes were closed, and his breathing was shaky. His hands clenched and loosened at his sides, and Castiel felt his heart fall.

God, Dean probably hated him.

“I’m sorry,” Castiel said. He should have thrown all his old letters away. He shouldn’t have mentioned anything to Dean. This all could have been avoided.

“Don’t,” Dean said suddenly. It was so sharp that Castiel’s head snapped up in surprise.

“W-What?”

“Don’t be sorry,” Dean said, and a smile suddenly split across his face, rows of white teeth shining. “Damnit Cas! You should have said something sooner!”

“Wait, now I don’t--”

Dean grabbed his arms and pulled him forward, resealing their lips together firmly.

Castiel’s heart fluttered and he dropped the letter, instead using his hands for much better purposes, like grabbing hold of Dean’s grey hoodie and pulling him closer to his body.

They kissed for several moments, hands searching and greedy as they continued to move together. It was when Dean’s hands rucked up under Castiel’s t-shirt that Castiel finally broke away, eyes wide and uncertain as Dean continued to chase his lips.

“W-Wait, Dean,” Castiel breathed, holding in a whimper when Dean’s lips began sucking at his neck.

“Hm?” Dean hummed after a moment, pulling back so Castiel knew he had his full attention.

“Is this… real? Like this isn’t just a one time thing?”

Dean didn’t answer for a moment, instead leaning down to capture Castiel’s lips in a brief, chaste kiss before pulling back and leaning their foreheads together.

“Definitely not a one time thing, Cas,” he replied with a smile. Castiel could have sworn he was glowing.

“Could I…” Dean blushed again, and he bit his lips before continuing, “Could you read your letters to me? They were for me, right?”

Castiel smiled and kissed Dean on the cheek, something finally freed inside him now that he could do that whenever he pleased.

“Yes,” Castiel replied. “Let me get them all.”

“Wait, there’s more than one?” Dean asked in surprise. Castiel chuckled and set him down on the bed, pressing another kiss to his forehead before leaning down for the shoeboxes.

“Definitely more than one.”

Dean beamed.

“Can’t wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: lovefromdean.tumblr.com
> 
> i'll post the next chapter tomorrow :) please let me know what you think of it so far!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, i'm gonna stop making promises about how many chapters this'll have. i'll just let you know when i write the epilogue. hah.
> 
> hope you enjoy the chapter! this one's got lots of useless fluff for all your cuddling and kissing needs, as well as a dash of feels to make things fun.
> 
> also, special thanks to my-wayward-son-carry-on (from tumblr) for their amazing blind!dean au fan art. one of the pieces greatly inspired this chapter!
> 
> enjoy!

Dean’s head rested on his shoulder as the two lay on Castiel’s bed. In one hand, Castiel held _Slaughterhouse-Five_ , and in the other, his fingers carded through Dean’s hair. Dean hummed every few moments, snuggling closer whenever Castiel reached a more exciting part, or whenever his fingers tugged a little extra at the base of his skull.

It was growing dark outside Castiel’s bedroom window. Distantly, Castiel was aware that the moon would soon be high in the sky, and they’d have to start thinking about sleeping arrangements.

Since they first got together, they’d both moved slowly through their new relationship. They never got further than hour long make out sessions or rutting through their jeans.

But even then, they’d never actually slept together. Even now at the ages of eighteen, they’d only ever napped on the same couch together.

Castiel wondered idly if that might change tonight.

He was making his way through a long paragraph when Dean suddenly yawned against his shoulder, snuggling closer into his side and looking up at him through his lashes.

Castiel paused in his speech, looked down to match his gaze.

“Yes?” He asked softly, smiling in amusement when Dean grinned back lazily.

“It’s weird,” Dean replied. “I was just thinking how long it’s been. Since I saw you. I realized I don’t remember if you have black hair or brown.”

Castiel chuckled and rubbed his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“It’s dark brown now,” he replied. “But I’m told it looks black when the lights are low.”

“Hm,” Dean smiled and closed his eyes, brushing his nose at Castiel’s neck. “I’ll have to remember that.”

“Anything else you can’t remember?” Castiel asked, joking. But when Dean frowned, Castiel closed his book and set it on his stand. The two slid down onto the sheets, pillows settled beneath them.

“Dean?” Castiel coaxed, raising his thumb to sweep over Dean’s cheekbone.

Dean shrugged and closed his eyes, leaning into the touch before smiling softly.

“This morning I reached out to ruffle Sammy’s hair. You know? But I reached out, and I accidentally hit his shoulder. He hit a growth spurt, and I didn’t even notice.”

“He’s fourteen, Dean,” Castiel said gently. “It’s natural.”

“Yeah,” Dean frowned. “But what’s he gonna’ look like when it’s over? I only remember him as this five year old kid, going on six. When somebody says ‘Sam’ I picture this little toddler with a chubby face and floppy hair. Right now he’s probably gonna get taller than me. Stronger, more built.”

“Like you,” Castiel hummed, brushing a few strands of hair away from Dean’s forehead.

Dean’s eyes lowered and he bit his lip. Castiel leaned down and pressed a kiss there, waiting until Dean looked up again and kissed him back.

“Do I still have freckles?” Dean asked, and his voice was so forlorn that Castiel had to stop for a moment. He chuckled and leaned their foreheads together.

“Yes,” Castiel replied with a smile. “And they are beautiful.”

“Shut up,” Dean blushed, burying his face in Castiel’s shoulder.

Castiel laughed and pushed Dean back until they were eye to eye again.

“No, they are, Dean,” Castiel assured. “They mirror all of your features perfectly. It’s like looking at stars, and they make your eyes seem brighter.”

Dean stared at him silently, eyes wide and disbelieving.

“You’re shitting me.”

“I’m not.”

“Liar,” Dean grumbled, but he scooted closer, allowing Castiel’s fingers to brush across his cheeks, feeling the warmth of the blush growing across his face.

“Well, you’ll just have to trust me,” Castiel said finally.

Dean smiled bashfully and ducked his head against Castiel’s chest.

“What else do I look like?” Dean asked quietly. “And no bullshitting this time.”

Castiel huffed out a laugh and wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist, pulling him close until their bodies were flush and their legs tangled together.

“Okay,” he grinned, laughing when Dean gave him eskimo kisses. “Is it alright to say you have a body like Adonis?”

“Oh my God, Cas,” Dean groaned, but he was smiling and snuggling closer.

Castiel took that as his permission to continue, “Your hair is like the sun. When we’re outside, it’s like you have a halo. You’re a walking angel.”

“God you’re the worst,” Dean ran a hand down his face and laughed. “If anybody’s the angel here, it’s you.”

“Now that’s ridiculous.”

“About as ridiculous as a ‘walking angel Adonis?’” Dean raised his eyebrows.

Castiel laughed and kissed Dean’s forehead.

“Fine. Point taken.”

Castiel wasn’t sure what happened after that, but a few minutes later Dean was over his body and they were trading kisses and lazy smiles. Dean lifted Cas’s leg to rest over his waist and ducked down to kiss Castiel’s jaw.

“Dean,” Castiel said softly. “We should probably discuss sleeping arrangements.”

“I was thinking next to you would be cool,” Dean replied with a sly grin, punctuating his words with stolen kisses.

“D-Dean, my parents are _just downstairs._ ”

“So we’ll be quiet,” Dean grinned.

His lips continued working down, making Castiel squirm and gasp as he fisted the sheets beneath him.

“We better be, or--” Cas started, but then froze when he heard a stampede of footsteps outside the bedroom.

“Castiel!”

Dean’s eyes widened, and Castiel shoved him off his body just in time for Claire to throw open the door and poke her head in.

“Castiel!” She exclaimed again. “Mommy wants to know if Dean’s staying over tonight.”

Castiel shoved a pillow over Dean’s head when he started to laugh hysterically.

“Y-Yes, he is,” Castiel said quickly, hoping his blush wouldn’t give away too much.

Claire squinted at him, seven year old eyes aware and curious. Castiel forced a smile on his face and waved his hand.

“Go tell mom!”

Claire pouted, but nodded and grabbed the handle.

“Mommy also says no kissing!”

“Claire!” Castiel squeaked, but Claire had already slammed the door shut and was running away.

Dean threw the pillow back, effectively hitting Castiel in the back of the head, before sitting up and grinning slyly.

“So, no kissing, huh?”

Castiel groaned and rolled his eyes. He turned around and shoved Dean’s back against the mattress. He threw his leg over Dean’s waist, straddling him, then leaned down and kissed the corner of his lips.

“Well, that depends on your definition of kissing.”

“Cas, you sly dog…”

“I’m an angel, you ass,” Castiel grinned, pecking Dean’s lips once more. “Or did you forget already?”

“Eh… maybe you’ll have to remind me.”

“We’ll see.”

An hour later, they were both startled out of each other’s arms as Castiel’s father shouted, “You know, some of us spend our time in bed _sleeping!_ ”

Dean laughed so hard Castiel threatened to push him off the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: lovefromdean.tumblr.com
> 
> the next chapter will either be tomorrow or monday, since scheduling's always interesting on sunday. but i promise my next update will be soon! :)
> 
> please let me know what you think of it so far!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey look! i updated! i hope you guys like the new chapter. i took this one from dean's perspective, because the last four chapters have been all cas. we also have some brotherly moments. so over all... i hope you guys like it!
> 
> enjoy!

“God _damnit!_ ” Dean swore as the mug slipped from his hands, crashing against the corner of the counter top and down to the floor by his bare feet.

His hands hadn’t stopped shaking in the past hour, and he’d thought he may as well and try that tea Cas was always going on about. Something about honey and tea born to be together. Dean didn’t know what Cas’s deal was with bees and honey, but he’d always found it cute, and Dean was always willing to try just about anything once.

So tea it was. And now he could feel the burning liquid touch his toes, causing him to yelp and jump back. Bad choice. He swore again as he felt small shards of the mug crack beneath his feet, cutting into his heel in two places as he scrambled to find the kitchen chair and table. He fell into it as soon as he found it, and tugged his legs up away from the floor.

He was all too aware that he was bleeding, but all he could think about was the shattered mug lying across the floor, as well as the burning liquid joining it.

Dean pulled down the legs of his sweatpants until they covered his heel, then pressed down hard, hissing at the sting.

This day was screwed to hell, he decided.

It all started over a stupid argument with his dad. Something about going to college and the risk with him being blind. It was probably one of the stupidest arguments of his life, and that was being compared to Gabriel, one of Sam’s best friends, who’d trapped Dean in an hour long debate on the intelligence of Justin Bieber.

Dean was still fuming about that one. But John was determined to check out any college Dean wanted to go to, and if he didn’t like it or thought it was too risky, he seemed determined to veto the idea entirely.

But now it was summer. Dean and Cas had already graduated, and Cas was probably going to one of those expensive colleges that only 4.0 GPA kids could go to. Either that or study abroad, with all the talk Cas gave for Europe and other countries. Either way, Dean wouldn’t be able to join him. And the thought did nothing to help his situation with John.

Dean grumbled profanities as he felt his sweatpants grow damp at his heel.

He heard footsteps over his head, Sam finally awake and moving. Dean pressed harder at his heel and waited for his brother to hit the stairs. It was a few minutes, but he heard the telltale creak of the wooden stars, and shouted, “Sam!”

“Yeah?” His brother called back, feet not even hesitating to take him to the kitchen.

“There’s glass on the floor!” Dean shouted, but not before he heard Sam’s sharp inhale and sudden stop by the door.

“Oh my God,” Sam muttered, and Dean rolled his eyes. “What did you do?”

“Dropped a mug. Think I cut myself.” He hissed when his heel stung, as if to prove his own point.

“There’s something else on the floor,” Sam sounded concerned.

“That’d be the tea.”

“You were making tea?” Sam exclaimed.

Dean wanted to throw something at him. His heel hurt like a bitch, and Sam was preoccupied with Dean’s drinking habits. Awesome.

“Cas’s idea,” Dean growled. “Now can you get me a damn bandage before I bleed all over the chair?”

“Wait, you’re hurt?”

“Yes,” Dean hissed, pressing his hand a little harder against his covered heel. He hadn’t even checked to see if there were any shards still stuck there.

He heard Sam move around the room, probably dodging the broken glass on the floor before the cupboards opened with a bang.

“Here, I got it.” Sam was trying too hard to be reassuring. Dean could remember the way Sam’s face would scrunch up when he was serious or focused. He wondered if Sam still made that face, and if he was making it now.

“Give me your foot,” Sam said, now in front of him.

Dean did as he was told, letting go as Sam tugged his leg out to rest on his lap.

“Jesus Dean…”

Awesome, Dean thought. Guess he couldn’t do anything right today.

He waited in silence, only flinching twice when Sam pulled out two small pieces of the mug from his foot.

“I doubt it’ll need stitches,” Sam said calmly. “But you’re probably gonna’ have a scar on your foot. So if Cas ever asks, just tell him you stepped on a… wait, is this dad’s mug?”

Oh shit. Dean buried his face in his hand and groaned. Freaking typical.

“So what happened?” Sam asked as he began wrapping Dean’s heel in a bandage.

“Don’t know,” Dean grunted in reply. “Had a fight with dad. Tried to get over it, dropped the damn mug instead.”

“And cut your heel open,” Sam added helpfully.

Dean didn’t respond. The silence carried over them for the next few minutes until Sam finished, taping it down so it wouldn’t come undone.

“What did you fight about?” He asked.

Dean frowned and pulled his foot back into his own lap, touching his heel carefully. It felt good, well done. He sighed, sensing Sam still staring at him, and replied, “College. He doesn’t think it’s safe for me to move away to some new place that I don’t know.” He gestured vaguely to his eyes and looked down.

“Aren’t you and Cas going to the same college?” Sam asked. “It’s not like you’d be going anywhere alone.”

“We haven’t talked about it much,” Dean confessed. “Cas used to talk about maybe studying abroad someday. He’s gotten lots of letters to major universities, and he’s got a 4.0. You know he’s gonna go somewhere I can’t follow.”

“You do realize you just quoted Lord of the Rings?”

Dean laughed, knowing all too well that Sam was giving him ‘the look.’ Dean could almost see it in his mind from the tone alone.

“Whatever,” Dean replied. “It’s probably not going to happen. That’s all I’m saying.”

“You can’t jump to conclusions without actually talking to the guy,” Sam argued. “For all you know, he could be waiting on you to make a decision.”

“Yeah right.”

“Seriously Dean,” Sam continued, firm. “Talk to him. You might be surprised.”

Dean raised an eyebrow, still skeptical. But there was something in Sam’s voice that made him hesitate. It was the tone Sam used whenever he knew something Dean didn’t, and was just waiting for Dean to call him on it.

“Anyway,” Sam continued, standing. “I’m gonna’ clean this up, and then I’m gonna’ go hang out with Gabe and Jess. You should call Cas, see what he’s got planned.”

“Whatever, bitch.” Dean grinned, expecting the punch to his shoulder in reply.

“Jerk,” Sam threw back.

…

A few hours later, Dean sat on the couch in the living room, tossing his cell phone back and forth between his hands.

What the hell, he chided himself. He was being a wuss.

He flipped open the phone and pressed speed-dial one.

“Dean?” Cas replied almost instantly, voice warm and friendly. “What’s going on?”

Dean bit his lip, tapping his finger against his thigh anxiously. “So, I was thinking that we haven’t really talked about what colleges we’ll be going to.”

“Yes,” Cas said. Dean could swear he heard him nodding on the other end. “I was thinking about that too. Which ones were you considering?”

Dean hesitated, surprised by his answer.

“W-Wait, that’s what I was gonna’ ask you.”

“That’s irrelevant,” Cas replied simply. “I’m sure we could find something that will work for what both of us want and need.”

“You’re serious?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Dean bit the inside of his cheek. “Cause you’ve always talked about studying abroad! When we were younger, all you could talk about was seeing other countries and getting out into the world. Why wouldn’t you go for that at your first chance?”

“Because it’s not worth it if I can’t bring you along.”

Dean’s eyes widened, lips parting in surprise.

“But your dream…?”

“Who said you and I couldn’t go on a holiday after college? Or during, for that matter?”

“You would do that?” Dean asked, still incredulous. “For me?”

“Of course, Dean.”

Dean bit his lip and grinned.

“Dude, I seriously love you right now.”

“Good, I’m glad to hear it,” Castiel chuckled. “Now, are you going to come over so we can discuss our options?”

“Absolutely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: lovefromdean.tumblr.com
> 
> i hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! if all goes well, i should have another update tomorrow. (but if not, it's because i overloaded my brain writing a chapter for one of my other stories.) either way, you will have an update within the next two days.
> 
> let me know what you think! i hope you enjoyed the chapter :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, it seems i can't hold myself back from the dean whump. oops.
> 
> anyway, i hope you like the chapter! it was turning out a bit too long, so i split it into two. sorry!
> 
> enjoy~i apologize for the lateness or any mistakes!

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Cas asked anxiously. They stood together in the living room, Cas heavily focused on the collar of Dean’s jacket.

“Of course,” Dean grinned cockliy. He jutted his chin out as Cas’s fingers brushed his skin, his smile growing the longer Cas twisted and pulled at the creases. “You know, I think it’s gonna’ be fine. It’s just gonna’ get wrinkled again by the end of the night.”

Cas huffed and gave one last tug before giving up. He sighed, then leaned forward and pecked Dean’s lips. Dean grinned.

“Still. It’s your first job interview. You want to look your best,” Castiel reminded him.

Dean rolled his eyes, evident even behind the sunglasses he wore.

“I don’t see why I have to. It’s Bobby for crying out loud,” Dean replied. “He’d probably be more impressed if I showed up in grunge and grease.”

“Anyone would be impressed by you, grunge or not.”

He could hear the smile in Cas’s voice before he leaned down and caught a second kiss.

“Good,” Dean replied. “Cause we’re still meeting up with Charlie at the carnival after the interview, right?”

“Right,” Cas sighed. “I’m still not sure we planned this well. What if it runs late?”

“I’d be surprised,” Dean scoffed. “Like I said, it’s Bobby. If it’s longer than two hours, we can do whatever you want to do after and apologize to Charlie later.”

“Anything I want to do, hm?” Cas hummed.

Dean grinned. “Anything at all. But first, interview.” He leaned forward and kissed Cas’s nose, beaming at the huff of laughter he earned in reply. “We ready?”

“Yes,” Cas grumbled. Dean didn’t take it personally. He could still hear the smile in his boyfriend’s voice.

They left the dormitory and walked together to the parking lot, arms linked and sporting matching grins.

It felt strange, leaving for his first job interview since going to Kansas University. He’d been there for the past four years, majoring in mathematics and mechanics. Cas, on the other hand, had majored in literature and linguistics.

It’d been a great four years, but like everything, it was coming to an end, and now they had to start thinking about jobs and the future.

That’s what John had been telling him for the past four years. He needed to start thinking about the future. He needed a plan, something more substantial than, ‘I’ve got Cas.’ Because to John, that wasn’t enough. Not nearly. Nevermind the fact that John had disappeared somewhere south and got remarried, and rarely answered his phone for anything.

His little brother Sammy, on the other hand, had already gotten an acceptance letter to Stanford in California. Dean couldn’t be prouder.

Of course his brother would get accepted to a big school like Stanford. It was only a matter of time, really.

But sometimes, Dean wondered if maybe he should’ve looked at going to California. Sam seemed pretty settled on the idea of staying out in the sunny state. But Dean couldn’t expect to hold on to Sam forever. They both had to live their own lives now, and Dean would do his best to carry on and do the best he could.

John had gone off on his own, Sam was going off on his own, now it was Dean and Cas’s turn.

He felt Cas reached out and touch his arm, rubbing through his leather jacket reassuringly.

“You’re going to do great, Dean,” Cas said kindly.

Dean smiled and placed his hand over Cas’s.

“I know.”

It was a few minutes later that the car stopped rumbling beneath his feet, and Dean knew they had stopped.

“Here goes nothing,” Dean muttered.

“Want me to come in with you?” Cas asked.

Dean shook his head and opened the door. “Nah, I know this place like the back of my hand. You don’t have to wait up if you don’t want to.”

“I want to,” Cas replied kindly. “I’ll find a parking spot. You go ahead.”

Dean nodded and unbuckled, climbed out and made his way to the front doors.

He could remember years of his childhood in this place. After he was first blinded, Dean’s greatest fear was that he wouldn’t be able to do anything like normal people. Cas and Bobby had put a very hard end to that idea.

Bobby brought him to the shop every weekend, and together they re-learned how to do everything a seeing person could do. It had taken a few years, just like anybody else, and Dean knew every part of an engine just as good as the rest of Bobby’s staff. Some of them even told Dean he could do better.

Dean wasn’t sure about that. But whenever he and Cas talked about getting started, they both agreed working with Bobby seemed like a good place to begin. And with one call to Bobby, that dream seemed to be more than possible.

To directly quote the older man, “You get your ass down here for the application, ya’ idjit!”

Application, interview. By Dean’s guess, it was probably all gonna’ be wrapped up by the end of the hour. But there was always the sliver of doubt that Bobby might change his mind. It wasn’t exactly the best idea to hire a blind guy to work on customer’s cars. If he got even one thing wrong, he could get Bobby in trouble.

That thought alone was enough to derail all of Dean’s self-confidence, if he let it. So he forced the thought firmly aside and took a deep breath.

As he expected, there was nothing to worry about. Bobby clapped him warmly on the back, sat him down in his office, and they spent twenty minutes filling out the information and getting it all in the database. Meanwhile, Dean sat with a nearly stupid grin on his face as he reminded himself that he’d been an idiot for doubting Bobby in the first place.

“I’ve got it all taken care of,” Bobby said, grin gleaming through his words. “When you good to start, son?”

“I can start as soon as next week,” Dean replied. “I mean, most of my remaining classes are either freaking early or late enough in the afternoon that it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Good,” Bobby said. “Then I look forward ta’ seein’ you on Monday. Just gotta’ sign this here…”

Dean was grateful for the groove of the signature line as he picked up a pen to write.

He just lifted his pen when the door behind him abruptly slammed open.

Dean frowned and handed the pen back to Bobby, confused when the man didn’t take it back.

“Bobby?” He asked, confused.

There was silence for a few moments, then Dean heard someone shudder a breath.

“What happened?” Bobby asked, so quietly Dean almost didn’t hear. But whoever was at the door heard it too. Footsteps moved beside Dean, and a hand touched his shoulder.

Dean immediately relaxed. Cas. But the silence continued for another moment, and Dean realized with a sick twist in his gut, that something was very, very wrong.

“I just got off the phone with Mercy Hospital in Windom, Minnesota.”

Dean felt his blood run cold.

“John was in an accident.”

Cas’s hand on his shoulder squeezed, and Dean felt the air rush out of his lungs.

“We need to go to Windom. They say he might have a day or two left.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm a terrible person. sorry v.v
> 
> i hope you all enjoyed the chapter! i have tomorrow off work, so there will be another update tomorrow like usual! see ya' then!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! i apologize for the wait. i know i promised an update yesterday, but i got a bit caught up in marriage equality day... hah. so as far as excuses go, i think it's a pretty acceptable one.
> 
> SPEAKING OF: CONGRATULATIONS FOR MARRIAGE EQUALITY!!!!
> 
> i'm sorry for the length of the chapter, or if there are any mistakes. i promise the next chapter will have lots and lots of fluff to make up for the angst! enjoy!

Castiel kept his gaze on the road. The previous day had passed by in a blur of phone calls and packing bags. Sam was flying up from California, where he’d been living for the past few months in preparation for the coming school year in Stanford. Dean and Castiel, however, were speeding down the highway while Castiel kept a wary eye out for patrol cars.

They were only a few more hours out of Windom. A few, precious hours that they could lose John Winchester at any moment.

Dean was stiff and silent in the passenger seat for the entire drive. His fists were clenched white over his thighs, fingers tugging at his jeans anxiously. His jaw was set, his eyes focused and determined.

Castiel wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Dean look so tense. At multiple stop lights, he fought down the temptation to reach out and touch Dean’s arm, pull his hands away from his legs and wrap their fingers together over the console. But he always stopped himself, pulling back at the last second and placing them on the steering wheel once more.

He could still see it in the back of his mind. The trembling in Dean’s hands as he threw extra shirts and pants in his suitcase. They probably wouldn’t stay in Windom too long. But it was necessary to be prepared for anything.

Yet Dean hadn’t spoken more than five words since Castiel relayed the information in Bobby’s office. Nothing more than, yes, no, and ‘I’m ready.’

No matter how hard Castiel tried, it seemed Dean was determined to stay in his bubble. So Castiel kept his hands on the wheel, and allowed Dean to gather his thoughts and emotions.

For now, anyway.

They pulled up to the hospital first. Dean got out without a word, and Castiel internally sighed in relief when Dean allowed them to link arms and walk toward the front doors.

“John Winchester,” Castiel said at the front desk.

“Family?” The nurse replied.

At Castiel and Dean’s curt nod, she stood and pointed down the hall.

“We have him set up in Room 23. He should be resting now.”

“We understand,” Castiel replied.

Dean tugged on his arm. Castiel took that as his cue and he led Dean through the halls until he spotted the room in question.

Two people were already inside. Castiel immediately recognized them as John’s second wife and Dean’s step-brother, Adam.

The young boy looked a lot like Dean. He had the same rugged blond head Dean used to have when they were little. He had light freckles dotting his face and nose, and his eyes were bright. It sometimes unnerved Castiel, seeing him. It always reminded him of running and playing with Dean through their yards. It reminded Castiel of the epic speeches of heroes on bedspreads and ice cream melting into carpets.

Dean and Castiel had long outgrown that phase of their life. But it always hit Castiel hard with nostalgia.

“We stopped,” Dean said softly, snapping Castiel out of his thoughts.

He looked down and frowned. He hadn’t realized they’d stopped moving. It was probably better that way.

“Kate and Adam are in there.”

Dean frowned deeply and shifted on his feet. His grip tightened around his white stick, and Castiel glanced back at the door to John’s room.

“You know they’re expecting us to come. It’s okay.”

“I know,” Dean grumbled. “It’s just… it still feels weird.”

Castiel sighed and nodded. He knew how hard it was for Dean and Sam when it was revealed John had been seeing a secret girlfriend for years, who he was suddenly marrying. A woman who also had a son. John’s son.

This had happened a few years ago. But it hadn’t been easy. Kate had been kind, making the transition easier. Yet no matter how kind she and Adam both were, it was sometimes still… difficult. Even now, after all this time.

“We don’t have to go in now,” Castiel reminded him. “We can always wait--”

“He’s dying,” Dean interrupted, voice tight. “We can’t wait.”

“Alright,” Castiel replied. “Let’s go in then.”

Introductions were awkward. But when Kate extended her hand, Dean’s fingers wrapping around her palm, Castiel felt his heart flutter as she led Dean to the bed where John lay. She placed his hand over his father’s, then placed her hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“Would you like some privacy, Dean?” Castiel heard her whisper.

Dean hesitated for a moment. “Actually,” he replied, “I was hoping to talk to you. If that’s okay.”

She nodded, then turned her gaze to meet Castiel’s. There was a silent question in her eyes. Castiel understood it.

He turned down to little Adam, who sat in the plastic waiting chair, and extended his arm.

“Adam, would you like to get snacks with me?” He asked lightly.

Adam glanced at his mom. She nodded, and he shyly took Castiel’s hand and followed him out.

A few minutes later found them both sitting in more plastic waiting chairs in the hall. Adam played with the M&M’s wrapper in his hands, only occasionally dropping a few into his hands to eat. Castiel, on the other hand, sipped anxiously at bitter hospital coffee.

He felt a tug on his jacket and he looked down at Adam’s expectant face.

“Yes?” He asked.

“Here,” Adam said quietly, holding out a hand full of candy. Castiel smiled softly and nodded his thanks, taking them and examining them carefully.

“You’re supposed to eat them,” Adam frowned.

Castiel chuckled and did as instructed. “Thank you,” he said once he swallowed. Adam beamed and nodded, settling back into his seat to eat more.

“How are you?” Castiel asked after a moment. Adam frowned again and picked a the edge of his wrapper.

“Fine,” Adam replied quietly.

“That’s what your big brother Dean says,” Castiel noted. “You wanna’ know something?”

Adam nodded slowly.

“Fine doesn’t always mean fine.”

Adam stared at him for a long moment before finally tearing his eyes away. He dropped pieces of candy into his palm and tossed them into his mouth.

“Mommy says daddy’s not going to be around for much longer,” he said quietly. “She says we can’t follow him where he’s going though. I think she’s trying to say he’s going to heaven soon.”

Castiel frowned and leaned back in his seat, keeping his gaze fixed on the little boy in front of him.

He wasn’t sure where John was going. But Adam seemed to get the important part. John wouldn’t be alive for very much longer. The thought hurt something deep in Castiel’s chest as he sipped his coffee once more.

“Is that why you and Dean are here?” Adam asked after a moment. “To say goodbye?”

Castiel hesitated, but then nodded.

“Yes. Sam will be here by tonight, as well.”

Adam nodded quietly. “Are they going to be okay?”

Castiel’s heart hammered in his chest. He had no answer for him, but he was moved by the question regardless. So instead of replying, he reached out and ruffled Adam’s hair, pleased when the young boy smiled.

They heard the clacking of heels approaching, and Castiel looked up to see Kate approaching them. Her face was drawn and tense, the face of a woman prepared for a heavy loss. It reminded Castiel of Dean.

“He’s talking with John now,” Kate said, noticing when Castiel looked behind her. “You can go in. I’m going to take Adam to my sister’s.”

Castiel nodded his thanks and made his way back down the halls to John’s room.

He found Dean sitting at his father’s bedside, hand still over John’s, and Dean was exchanging silent words with the man. John’s eyes were hooded, low and tired. He didn’t look well. His face was bruised, and there were bandages on patches of skin that showed the cause of John’s downfall.

The way Castiel had heard it, John had been hit by a truck while driving on the highway. The car was totaled, and John didn’t look much better.

“Castiel,” John’s low voice rumbled, drawing in Castiel’s attention. Dean’s head snapped towards Castiel as he moved toward the bed.

“John,” Castie replied softly. “Sam’s also on his way.”

John nodded slowly, face pulled in a tight grimace. “Dean… told me.”

Dean looked down and pulled his hands back into his lap. Castiel rested his hand on Dean’s shoulder in silent support.

“You’ll… take care ‘f my son?” John asked, catching Castiel off guard. He recovered quickly and nodded hard.

“O-Of course,” Castiel replied. “Always.”

“Hn.” John’s lips pulled back in a small grin, and his eyes travelled back to Dean’s slumped figure. “Good. He… needs it. Lookin’ after.”

Castiel’s hand tightened on Dean’s shoulder. Dean smiled weakly and raised a hand to place over his.

“I can take care of myself,” Dean grumbled, but the usual bark was gone.

John chuckled, but the sound was cut out by a round of coughs. Castiel winced in sympathy.

“N’know,” John mumbled. “Always tak’n care of everyone… but you.” His head turned to the side, fixing Dean and Castiel with a firm look on his face. Castiel subconsciously straightened to fuller attention.

“Time t’ take care ‘f you,” John nodded forward once, slowly. Castiel felt his eyes begin to burn. Glancing at Dean proved he was in a similar state.

“You’re gonna’ be okay dad,” Dean said firmly. “You will.”

“Yeah,” John breathed. Castiel was grateful Dean couldn’t see the resignation in his face. “Will do.”

Later, after John drifted off to sleep again, Castiel pulled Dean into a hug. His body was warm in his arms. Castiel ran his fingers through Dean’s hair as he wrapped his arms around Castiel’s waist.

“He’s not gonna’ make it Cas,” Dean whispered after the silence lasted too long for comfort.

“I know,” Castiel replied softly. He kissed Dean’s temple and pulled him closer. Dean let him.

That night Sam arrived at the hospital. He and Dean hugged and spoke for a long time. It was then that Castiel knew that Dean would pull through, even though it hurt. Because when John finally flatlined, his entire family was by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: lovefromdean.tumblr.com
> 
> i hope you guys liked the chapter! i may or may not be able to update tomorrow. (as usual, sunday's are my busy days.) but i promise there is fluff on the way! 
> 
> thanks for reading! see you guys with the next update!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! sorry for the long wait. busy week. but here's the next chapter, and i'm sad to say, the last. but i promise it ends on a very happy note, so i hope you all enjoy it! and i'm so glad for all of you who've commented and let me know how much you've liked this story so far! it's meant all the world, and i'm so grateful for your feedback. it's been amazing~!
> 
> thank you guys for reading! i hope you enjoy the last chapter of Ages :)

“Cas, I swear to God, if I get stung I’m not sleeping with you for a month.”

“Stop being overdramatic Dean,” Castiel rolled his eyes as he and Dean wandered down the path of the park. Dean’s fingers were warm and wrapped tightly around Castiel’s palm, and Castiel was having difficulty containing his laughter.

Dean didn’t care much for bees. In fact, Castiel was fairly convinced Dean hated them. He wasn’t sure Dean would have come at all if Castiel hadn’t been so set on having their picnic.

“It’s bee season Cas!” Dean had argued as he handed Castiel the pre-made meal they’d made the previous night. “They’re probably going to be swarming everywhere!”

Castiel could only roll his eyes and sigh.

“I’m sure it will be just fine Dean,” he reminded his boyfriend calmly.

Dean pouted, but it did nothing to make Castiel relent. Instead, it made Castiel smile and kiss the corner of Dean’s lips, catching his boyfriend by surprise.

“W-What was that for?” Dean stammered, blushing fiercely.

“You look very cute when you pout,” Castiel replied with a smile.

Dean’s face continued to darken to a deep shade of red. Even now as they wandered through the park, scouting out a good spot to sit down and eat, Dean was visibly flustered and still bitter about the bee warnings.

“It’ll be just fine,” Castiel reassured Dean again when they finally found a good spot. “I haven’t seen a single bee all day. I think you’re safe from bee stings.”

“Says you!” Dean exclaimed, but his smile was back, so Castiel took that as a personal victory.

They made quick work of setting up the blanket and spreading out the food. Dean sprawled out against the blanket, spreading his arms and legs out wide as he basked in the warmth of the sun.

“Okay, maybe this is kinda’ nice after all,” Dean moaned, grinning and pushing back his sunglasses.

“Would you like me to say I told you so?” Castiel asked. “Or would you rather we just enjoy it?”

“Eh, you could just hand me the grapes and we’ll call it good.”

Castiel rolled his eyes and smiled. He reached over and opened the picnic basket, pulling out the closed containers of fruit. However, his eyes drifted deeper into the basket and his eyes latched onto the small black box in the back corner, easily out of reach from Dean’s prying hands.

His heart fluttered at the memory of putting it there, but he didn’t touch it, instead going back to the fruit containers to open them.

“Red or green?” Castiel asked, popping the tabs of the lid.

Dean waved his hand dismissively. “Surprise me,” he replied, lazy grin still loose across his face.

Castiel’s heart skipped a beat. He felt a moment of hesitation, thoughts immediately going back to the little black box. He bit his lip and glanced back at the basket, then back to Dean’s closed eyes and relaxed features.

Dean had no idea why Castiel had been so set on having this picnic. It wasn’t like it was the first time they’d gone out and done something ‘typically’ romantic. But it certainly wasn’t common either.

And now, Castiel was wondering if there was any better moment than right now.

He reached back inside the picnic basket and pulled out the little black box. Steeling himself, a deep breath of courage, Castiel reached out and cupped Dean’s cheek, a silent signal of an incoming kiss.

Dean grinned and kissed back when Castiel’s lips touched his, and lazily raised a hand of his own to pull Castiel closer, nearly on top of him.

Castiel chuckled, mindful of the box in his hand, as his leg settled between Dean’s open thighs.

“Well, surprise accepted,” Dean laughed, pulling Castiel’s head down again for another quick kiss.

“Actually, I had a different surprise in mind,” Castiel replied. He reached for Dean’s hand and pulled it back, opening his boyfriend’s palm and placing the box inside.

Dean’s eyes opened and then narrowed curiously.

“Wait,” he said slowly. “You got me something?” His fingers drifted over the materiel of the box, and his face scrunched up in confusion. “What is it?”

“Open it,” Castiel replied, heart pounding.

Dean slowly pushed himself up and twirled the box in his hands a few times, feeling for the crease where the lid opened. It popped up a moment later, and Dean’s fingers drifted down. The moment they touched the gold band, his eyes widened and the color rushed out of his face.

“C-Cas?” He asked slowly, pulling it out and settling it in his palm. “Is this… Is this what I--”

He broke off abruptly, body still and eyes wide.

Castiel bit his lip and took the box away, carefully watching Dean for any negative reaction.

“It has a note tied to it. Read it.”

“Cas, I--”

“Read it,” Castiel said softly. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Dean’s cheek as Dean reached down for the small thread and paper attached to the band. There were no clearly written words to read. Not for a seeing man or woman, anyway. Instead there was braille, and it had taken a little bit of work to get it printed right.

When Dean’s finger brushed over it, his breath hitched and he covered his mouth. Castiel stared as Dean’s fist tightened around the ring.

“I’m sorry,” Castiel rushed, suddenly afraid. “If you think it’s too soon--”

“Damnit Cas!” Dean exclaimed, and before Castiel could respond, Dean had shoved Castiel’s shoulders into the ground, effectively rolling on top of him so he could press dozens of kisses across Castiel’s face.

“Wha-Wait, Dean, what are you--”

“Yes,” Dean breathed, laughing. “Yes. Absolutely, yes.”

Relief flooded Castiel’s chest like a dam breaking. He laughed when he felt hot drops of water touch his cheeks. Dean was crying, but he was beaming. Castiel took his face in his hands and pulled him down for another kiss, this one lingering and purposeful.

“Are you sure?” Castiel asked. “I mean, I understand if you want to think about it first.”

“Cas, you son of a bitch,” Dean grumbled, still smiling. He leaned down and pressed his lips to Castiel’s jaw line before continuing, “Like I’d ever have to think about it. I’d take you no matter what. Any day, any week, any year. You’re mine, angel.”

Castiel’s eyes burned, but for once, not in an unpleasant way.

“I like the sound of that,” he replied softly. He didn’t mind when Dean pulled him up for another kiss, even if he did miss and accidentally hit Castiel’s nose.

Nothing could have ruined the moment. Even when Dean chastised him for not telling him about the bloody nose later. Everything was absolutely perfect.

It was only made better when they both stood at the altar of Castiel’s home church, both of their families and friends looking on. And when Castiel said ‘I do,’ Dean didn’t wait to be told. He grabbed Castiel’s face and kissed him. He didn’t miss, and he didn’t let go even once. Castiel was pleased to know he did the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: lovefromdean.tumblr.com
> 
> again, thank you guys SO MUCH for reading! i'm so glad if you've enjoyed it, and i hope that you all continue to go on and read even better fics out there than this one.
> 
> special thanks to my-wayward-son-carry-on.tumblr.com for her beautiful blind!dean au fan art that greatly inspired me to write this story. all my thanks to you! and a huge thank you to the readers! you're all amazing, for real. i wish you all the best! thank you for reading!


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